How To Date a Stalker,CNF in [PANK]

Screen Shot 2015-11-24 at 1.43.36 PM.png

1. Revel in how good-looking he is, how he channels Jude Law when his lazy eye doesn’t wander, how his weaving a ghillie suit that he keeps in the rusted hutch of his white pick-up shows exceptional dedication.

2. Convince yourself it’s meaningful because he plays Nina Simone as you disrobe and paw at each other for the first time. Pay no attention when the music flips to “The Piña Colada Song.” Read more…

Advertisements

“Operation,” CNF in Sundog Lit

Screen Shot 2015-09-24 at 7.05.57 PM

1. Waiting Room

Muzak earworms a song so deep into your subconscious that for weeks afterwards: hum, hum, hum. And it’s Juice Newton. It’s Steely Dan. The Girl from Freaking Ipanema. Read more…